Posted in Being a Mom, Being a Wife, Dealing with Trials, Faith, Family, Inspiration, Life with CF, Uncategorized

Mindful of Hope, Mindful of Him


Well, can I say I’m not happy, NOT HAPPY I tell you. I think we are over the worst of the flu, as I have no temperature again today and I felt much more engaged yesterday eating dinner at the table with Bob and the kids, tucking the kids into bed after their activities and watching a little T.V. with Bob later in the evening.

Fast forward to this morning. The side effects from the medicines I’m on went a little out of control today. Apparently, I took the meds with something my stomach didn’t like or at a time they didn’t like because they totally revolted against me. Let’s just say I might as well have had the stomach flu all over again for the better part of the morning. Took some Zofran (an anti-nausea med) to counteract the “queasies,” but lo and behold, up popped some other unmentionable side effects that were not about to be ignored. So I call the doctor and realize immediately that this new situation will require what? Yep, MORE medications.

Did I mention that we just got new insurance as of January 1st and that our out-of pocket deductible is HUGE? Or that out of the kindness of their hearts, my husband’s employer decided to contribute some money to lessen that huge out-of-pocket expense (which I really am seriously thankful for) but that it won’t be deposited until January 15th? Folks, between Bob and I we’ve probably already met the deductible ourselves with appointments and medications in these first ten days of January, so I cannot wait to see the bills rolling in for us next month. Happy Valentine’s Day to us!

Anyway, I can’t eat because of the nausea waves and I NEED to eat because I’ve lost lots of weight which sounds like a good thing for those of you with New Year’s Resolutions that include weight loss goals, but is not good for me as a CF-er. With the whole nausea, not eating scenario I have a headache the size of the West Coast; which is sounding particuarly wonderful right now, a warm beach with waves lapping and no joint pain! Oh yes, Ohio today cannot decide whether it wants to be winter or spring, so my joints are excruciating today. Headache, joint pain… yep, you guessed it, MORE medication.

Then, all of the sudden, it hits me that half my day has gotten away from me and I haven’t prayed today, so I do. I lie in bed with all my aches and pains and upset stomach and I start working down my list of prayer requests which is quite lengthy, especially since I’ve just recently been inducted into a virtual Mom’s prayer group. So I spend a good 35 minutes offering up prayers for these folks, my family, my friends, myself and VOILA… nothing really exciting happened. I felt calmer, I took the meds I needed to, I willed myself into a hot shower and here I am not feeling so much better, but still hopeful for a better evening because I know He’s here, right here, walking with me in this moment of trial. Hope is honestly everything on days like today, and my hope rests in Him.

But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31



Christ-follower, wife, and mother of two living and succeeding with Cystic Fibrosis. Come check out my blog 100% Chance of CHANGE that follows my life's journey, one day at a time. Stories about life, raising kids, marriage and relationships, family, my CF struggles, faith and so much more!

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