Posted in Being a Mom, Faith, Family, Inspiration, Uncategorized

“Sh#!t, damn” cookies


My mom called the other day, hoping to coordinate our equally busy schedules, to secure some time in the next couple months when we could get together to make Christmas cookies. My first thought was “Seriously, I’m not even ready for Halloween, I can’t even think about Christmas yet;” but my next thought was, “Maybe we’ll make “shit, damn” cookies.” Yes, you read that right: “shit, damn” cookies, or as we’ll refer to them in the rest of this post, “SD” cookies – for short.

Christmas cookie baking has been a tradition in my household since before I was born. My mom is one of those people who loves to bake and is really good at it. She doesn’t just make a few different kinds of Christmas cookies, 14 different kinds was usually the norm. As she’s gotten a little bit older she’s pared it down to about 9 and still feels guilty about it. Me, who is a self-proclaimed non-baker, still looks at her thinking, “Mom, you are still crazy, but YOU TOTALLY ROCK!”

One of my favorite kinds of Christmas cookies that my mom makes is Spritz cookies. You know, the really buttery ones that you make with a press?  When we were kids, my mom used to color them red, yellow, green and blue with food coloring so that there would be an array of colors for our cookie platters. Then she’d sprinkle them with those colored, sugary decorating crystals and we’d eat to our hearts content.

Now, if any of you reading are over the age of 40 or have an older family member that bakes, you might remember the old-time cookie presses that were used to make Spritz cookies.  For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, I’ve included a picture here for your viewing pleasure. In the old days, you had to put Spritz cookie dough into the canister, screw in the desired shape plate and then twist the black handle to squeeze the cookie dough out onto the baking sheet.  The problem was, if the dough was too stiff it wouldn’t come out of the press and if it was too soft the cookies would come out looking like dough blobs that wouldn’t amount to any shape at all. You actually had to lay the press on the cookie sheet to dispense the cookie and sometimes half of the dough would stick to the sheet and half would stick to the canister. It was these times that my Mom could be heard praying aloud “Please Lord, please let this cookie come out of this press.”

My mom is a devout Catholic. She is probably one of the most Christian people I’ve ever met. I think I could probably count on one hand the times I heard her swearing when I was growing up, and about 4 out of 5 times it was for these cookies. The first few were always a challenge before she found her groove. In the midst of Gene Autry singing Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer over the stereo we’d hear Mom exclaim, “Shit! Damn!” and knew Spritz cookies were on their way. So we began to lovingly refer to them as “SD cookies,” in honor of Mom’s hard work every year.

About the time our Jacob was born, I tried my hand at selling Pampered Chef. With all of my newfound consultant points, I bought my mom a Pampered Chef Cookie Dough Press. It is a much easier contraption to handle, with a trigger pull and cookies that come out perfectly every time. No dough blobs getting stuck in the end, no cookies sticking half on the press, half on the sheet. It’s even dishwasher safe. My mom thought it was pure genius. My brother and I agree that it took all the fun out of SD cookie- making. Ask Mom to make a Spritz cookie now and she gladly will do so easily (and without profanity) with her wonderful cookie press. Had I known that I would ruin family tradition with that simple purchase, I may never have bought it in the first place.

No, seriously, these days Mom makes perfect Spritz cookies that taste the same, are less painful for her to make and still as yummy for our families to eat. I’m glad that I could lessen her frustration, even if we did so enjoy those devilish moments that making SD cookies induced. Maybe when I go to make cookies with her this year I’ll ask her if we can pull out the old press, just for old time’s sake. Or maybe I’ll just ask her to pretend and yell, “Shit! Damn!” while we’re using the new press. Either way, it’s a memory made for a lifetime and it still makes me smile. Love you Mom!



Christ-follower, wife, and mother of two living and succeeding with Cystic Fibrosis. Come check out my blog 100% Chance of CHANGE that follows my life's journey, one day at a time. Stories about life, raising kids, marriage and relationships, family, my CF struggles, faith and so much more!

12 thoughts on ““Sh#!t, damn” cookies

  1. Oh how I remember those childhood Christmas cookies! This might be my favorite post yet!
    I have one of each kind of press and still can’t get the cookies to turn out like my m&m’s used to. Thanks for sharing such a sweet and funny memory!

    1. Glad you liked it. Having known my mom, you will appreciate how uncharacteristic it was for her to swear and this story has been a long-time family favorite. I figured if my readers are gonna get to really know me, they might as well know my “secrets” too. 😉 Thanks for reading and love to you and yours!!!!

  2. Oh yeah! I remember all those things you are talking about. I even remember the time my sister and I made potica ( nut and raisin ) for the holidays with your mother. There was no SD but there was a lot of love and childhood memories shared that day. Lots of love!

    1. Bob, I think Mom would agree that making with potica with you guys was a highlight day for her too. 🙂 Thanks for following the blog. Much love to you and your extended family.

  3. Absolutely remember those old presses and the green food dye that went into the little trees. Sweet memory. My sweetheart of a mother, also a Catholic girl, had S and D down when it came to baking. . .and also sewing by the way. She always wanted everything to be just so. . .

    1. Stephanie, I sent a comment to you earlier but I must have forgot to hit the “post comment” button because I don’t see it. My mom, also likes things to be just so, hmm.. I wonder where their daughters get their drive desire to perfect their writing craft? 😉 Thanks for reading, your blog post was terrific today.

  4. Jen: The memories we share are precious and you put this one down in your blog so eloquently. I love you so much. I am glad it was such a funny memory and that we shared it as a family. Love ya Mom

    1. Mom, we have some incredible memories, don;t we? I look forward to making many more with you, especially these kind that make us laugh years later. So, are we making SD cookies this year? 🙂 We need to get that date on the calendar. I love and thank you for everything that you are. Thanks for continuing to be my biggest fan!

  5. Oh you were there as I tried to use one of those presses! Too funny, great memories. I love spritz cookies but don’t usually make them, but may have to try again! Love your post, enjoy that cookie making!

    1. This is the year to get back on the Spritz cookie horse, I’m convinced! Hope you had a good weekend and that the marathon went well. Still praying for you all. ❤

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